Kids or No Kids

Kids or No Kids

One of the most important and life critical factors when seeking an international bride is that of parenthood. Let’s review the possibilities first.

  1. Perhaps you have minor children now. In America, this of course means that your progeny is eighteen years or younger.
  2. You have decided that you do not wish to procreate at all. This is, of course, your right but it is rare.
  3. You may have a vasectomy. Although it can be reversed, it is expensive and the result is not assured. Age is also a factor.
  4. You have no problem becoming father to a child or children your bride has now. If so, it is very likely that the biological father will have to agree. Naturally, there may also be paternal grandparents.
  5. You may wish to have a child with your bride. This is especially true if both of you are younger.


As you can see, this is very complicated and critical. In my experience, I have encountered many clients who are very attracted to a lady, but are not interested in a child. This is very short sighted. You see, here is the reality. Many of the profiles are of single mothers. You can easily prove this for yourself.

If the lady is of child bearing age and has no children – guess what? The odds are very high that she wants to become a mother.

Therefore, unless you find a lady who is in her late forties or more and has no children, you must have an opinion about fatherhood. Ladies in this circumstance are very rare. Again, you can easily prove this for yourself.

Parenthood varies a great deal among cultures. Typically Eastern European women (Ukraine and Russia) will have perhaps one or two children. Latin American countries will favor more. Because of government policy and culture, you will often find Chinese ladies who have no children.

So, what is the point of all this? You MUST have an opinion about it. It is easy and enticing to be attracted to young, beautiful girls that are well beyond your age. This is natural when on a romance tour. Their older sisters are often ignored. Parenthood is probably the most important factor you must consider. It is wise to make this decision before you depart, and adhere to it.

So, what does the law say about this? If it is only the lady, you can apply for a K1 “fiancée” visa. This is a relationally simple process as it only involves the lady.

However, if there are minor children involved, it is more complicated. This is a K2 visa. Other than the parental factors mentioned above, here is what the law says.

  1. The child must be under the age of twenty one.
  2. They must not be married.
  3. They must wish to immigrate to America.

So, you see there is benefit to a woman who has a child or children who meet these  criteria. Obviously, a serious discussion must take place with her and her family.

You are free to file either visa yourself, but perhaps an immigration attorney would be helpful.

I hope this discussion has been of assistance to you. Best of luck.



Persistence – Diana Nyad

Recently, 64 year old Nyad accomplished something amazing. She swam from Havana, Cuba to Key West – 103 miles in 53 hours without a shark cage. This is a world record – over 20,000 stokes. Was this her first attempt? No, it was her fifth. She tried once at the age of 28 and three more times in her sixties. What an incredible lesson for all, but specifically for those of us who seek an international life partner. Internalize her first words as she stepped on American soil.

“I got three messages,” an exhausted and happy Nyad told reporters. Her face was sunburned and swollen.

“One is we should never, ever give up. Two is you never are too old to chase your dreams. Three is it looks like a solitary sport, but it’s a team,” she said.

The swim was a long-awaited triumph for Nyad, who was making her fifth attempt since 1978 and her fourth since turning 60.

What can we take away from this remarkable achievement? How does it apply to those who seek an international bride?

Here are some facts to consider. Less than 5% of the men active with A Foreign Affair actually book and attend a romance tour. You may wish to equate this with Nyad’s first attempt at 28. Can you be assured of success on this attempt even though it is challenging? My experience and that of others like Bud Patterson indicate that it is highly unlikely.

That means that if you have the same courage and persistence as Nyad, you must be prepared to go the distance. It is not easy. However, you will not have to deal with stinging jellyfish or sharks. Instead you will be working your way through delightful encounters with beautiful, interesting women.

Woodrow Wilson uttered a great quote about this:

Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘Press On’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.

Understand that the men who have been successful in the noble endeavor returned to her home country several times. Vacations, regular emails, phone calls and Skype are valuable. Also, once a meaningful relationship is established many men offer financial support.

So, this is a great deal to consider. It is very different from dating domestically, but it is well worth it. Make sure that you are prepared to swim all 103 miles.

Bob Wray