Serendipity means a “happy accident” or “pleasant surprise”; specifically, the accident of finding something good or useful while not specifically searching for it.

The more I learn about successful International dating and romance, the more serendipity seems to apply. The poet Robert Burns observed, “The best-laid plans of mice and men oft(en) go astray”. How true. So, we must find a balance. Should we plan, meaning establish search criteria, review profiles and write a few letters before leaving on a romance tour? Of course we should – it only makes sense. At the same time we must remain flexible and open to serendipity. Why? Well, I have seen it so often recently.

A friend or client will depart for a tour having considered the essential criteria for himself – age, children, height, background, etc. This is wise. He may have identified a handful of ladies that seem to be a good match and are appealing to him. Perhaps letters have been exchanged and plans to meet have been arranged – great. However, something unexpected may happen that makes all of this irrelevant!

I’m thinking of a good friend who did exactly that. He left with dates arranged with several possibilities including a lady he had dated before. After arriving he went on two dates. Then he attended a social and encountered another lady he had met briefly on a previous tour.  Although it turned out that she was a bit younger than his criteria indicated, they began to talk and “Bam” – serendipity. He said to me upon his return, “stick a fork in me, I’m done”. Given his criteria, he never would have considered her.

I’ll give you another great example in a minute, but I’d like you to remember a famous seen from “The Godfather”. Michael Corleone is wandering the hills of Sicily while in exile with his bodyguards. He suddenly encounters a beautiful local girl in a purple dress and “Bam” – serendipity. His guard says, “I think he just got hit with the thunderbolt”. He goes on to marry her. That’s the way it happens sometimes.

I remember a client from early last year. While sitting next to me on the plane, he showed me photos and letters of a lady that held his interest from our first city stop. “Very nice”, I said. I wished him the best. He did indeed meet and date her and seemed quite happy. Then it was time to go to our second city. He balked at the idea and wanted to remain. I persuaded him otherwise and off we went. Although he wasn’t enthusiastic, he went to the social with all of us. While he was standing by the bar, a stunning lady walked up and said, “I’d like to meet you”. They just stared at each other for several minutes. When we returned to the hotel he was on “Cloud 9” and couldn’t stop talking about her. He called me almost every day when we got home to give me an update. They have filed for their Fiancée visa and will be married soon. Serendipity.

The best example I can provide is on the Foreign Affair website. It is the great story of Terry and Lia Mayo. That’s right, they are married.  The twists and turns that are involved in their journey will amaze you. You can view it for yourself as John Adams interviews the happy couple. It’s good for the soul. Enjoy.

So, the lesson? Yes, read Bud Patterson’s book, Foreign Bride 101, set up your criteria and search in the cities you will visit. Write a few letters before you go and set up some dates if you can, but watch out for “the Thunderbolt” – serendipity. I wish you well.


Letters and Reality

Letters and Reality

I’ve written about this topic before, but I think it should be addressed again. John Adams has said many times, “Don’t write letters”. I know this may seem unrealistic given the typical international dating business model, but AFA really wants you to succeed and does not want you to be disappointed or even scammed. So, here are the facts you need to understand.

AFA maintains a number of offices around the world. However, all of these offices have relationships with affiliate companies. This is a benefit for you as more ladies have their profile on, attend the socials and are available to you. Of course, it is very difficult to control every aspect of the operations involved. Just like yourself, the ladies are free to write “introduction” letters to any guy who has his profile on AFA (and you should). You can easily identify them as they cost $5.95 to read and will usually have a very generic subject line.

If you decide to pay and read the letter it often sounds like it could apply to any guy. However, perhaps the lady has visited the office and seen your profile. In that case, you may see your name in the greeting.

Look – thousands of guys send out many letters – usually using a “form letter”. That’s OK. Why shouldn’t the girls have the same chance?

Here’s the issue. Let’s say you are 55. You receive an intro letter from a beautiful 19 year old girl in the Philippines, the Ukraine or China. Be realistic. This is not a real opportunity for you unless you are really bored and want a pen pal.

However, it is possible that on occasion you may get a nice intro letter addressed to you (your name is in the subject line or inside if you open it) and she’s “just what the doctor ordered”. In that rare case, go for it. But realize, absolutely nothing will happen until you go over and meet her.

So, bottom line? Be very selective when opening intro letters. If you start an on line relationship with a girl that seems quite promising – fine. But make a decision to go over and let her know. Save all that money opening unrealistic intro letters for a tour in the near future. You won’t be sorry.

Scammers and Prostitutes – Really?

Many of you are aware of me from the National Geographic show and my posts. I have proudly participated and led many tours for AFA. I continue to do this because of my practical experience and knowledge of the individuals in the company as well as their mission that gives me the confidence that I insist on to help good hearted men like yourself find a worthy life partner.

Let’s face it. If you don’t look like Brad Pitt or have Bill Gates’ money (they’re married, of course), your odds in America are very limited. Why? According to the 2010 census there are more men than women here. Americans are very age conscious. Women “Cougars” can easily date guys younger than themselves. Women can survive quite nicely if they have job skills.  Then, there is feminism. I’ll let that one go. The reality is that our odds here are severely limited. Women get to select and say “no”.

It is completely different in the countries offered by AFA. If you have done your homework, you know this. Are there guarantees? Of course not! That’s ridiculous. Are there firm statistics? No, because there is no way to  require men who have had success provide the information. Will you have the opportunity to meet dozens of quality women on a tour – YES!  I have seen it and experienced it myself. It is your choice to believe me or not. If you want to discuss it, it is my pleasure. I do it every week, Mason will arrange it, and you can regularly hear me on Bud’s Monday night calls (which you should listen to).

Now, the topics. Prostitutes? You must be kidding. They are all over the world, including Las Vegas, New York, etc. You know this – including your hometown. Do prostitutes attend our socials? I’ve never seen or heard about it. Although I suppose it could happen, but how would they work without our knowledge? The vast majority of girls there are on our site and we know everything about them.

Scammers? It can’t happen, unless you’re a fool. Are they going to pick your pocket? No. If it happens (and I have seen it VERY rarely), it is because the client permitted it – a fancy meal, expensive gifts, etc. The vast majority of the girls only want to find a great guy to love and be loved.

Of course, it is your choice to ignore all that I have said here. It is your choice to stay here and go to the local bar or go on Match or eHarmony. How is that working for you? I thought so.

Join us and see for yourself. Can you go over by yourself – yes! I have done it myself. AFA will help you if you wish. Will you go home married? Of course not. Our government will not allow it. Will you land a 20 year old super model in a bikini if you are 50? Give me a break! Will you meet great girls if you have your priorities in place? The odds are very high. I have seen it over and over again.

Those that want nothing else but to bash this process and AFA and their competition are small, angry guys with an agenda. Do they offer any real help or services to you? Of course not. Who are they? Most of them hide. You know who I am. I’m proud of it. I have been honored to help dozens of guys like you find happiness. John Adams and Bud Patterson? I know them very well and have learned from them. They are my friends and I am very selective in choosing who I associate with.

Do your own research. Talk to guys who have found success. I wish you all the best in your search and hope to see you on a future tour. Believe me, I will do all I can to help you make your dreams come true.